Return of the Fail

My computer (you know, the one with all the new hardware?) is dead again. The power supply, which was the only thing not replaced in the upgrade, has kicked the bucket right about the same time as my very new hard drive contracted a nasty virus. The result? The fucker won't boot. So I'm back to jacking Elderspawn's laptop when she's either asleep or not home. Naturally, she's got first dibs when she's home and awake, and it's awfully kind of her to let Mommy borrow it when she isn't using it. But I WANT MY BITCH BACK!!!

My job is getting me down again. Maybe it's just the pressure of being on my own managing a restaurant full of idiot teenagers, but it's really becoming a daunting task to walk in the door in a good mood.

My panic issues are once again reeling their ugly heads and I'm fighting back a panic attack as I type this. I've tried crossword puzzles, knitting, reading, eating, and even a little retail therapy to distract my brain thus far, and now I've moved on to Ativan. It's my last resort, and it will work eventually... Now I'm just waiting for it to kick in.

:sigh:

The fail returns. Hopefully it's just very temporary and I'll be ok in a couple of days.

Faith In Humanity

Inspired by last year's onslaught of the Faith In Humanity Tally, I decided this year I would try to play. I'll probably lose track of it or forget about it or something as the year goes on, but at least it's worth a shot. And no, I won't be deducting any points from my tally for that statement because that's not me showing a lack of faith in humanity as a whole, just a lack of faith in myself. I should be entitled to be my own worst enemy if I'm keeping this thing to try and remind myself that the world is NOT out to get me.

So here goes.

+1 Getting to spend a lazy day (for once!) watching the Bones marathon on TNT.
+1 Random upbeat text message from `junoknight.
-1 First journal I read while catching up on 3 days worth of missed messages being all dArama-y.
-1 Having to work through midnight last night.
+1 Having a great crew to work through midnight with.
+1 Champagne toast with champagne that didn't suck.

Total: 367


Tally before stopping: 367
- 24 for January (Since I did try for about a week.)
- 29 for February
+5 for getting a decent-paying job in a miserable economy.
-3 for hating it.
+1 for finding a hidden yarn stash at the fabric store.
+1 for getting said yarn for 50% off.
+3 for the surprise devWEAR from =Athos-of-Light
-1 for needing to exchange it.
-1 for not having gotten it back after 3 weeks.
-2 for Ry not having received his Xbox after a month of it being in the Postal system.

Current tally for March: 317

+5 for Ry's Xbox FINALLY getting to him.
+2 One for each of the two J.D. Robb mysteries I'll get to read this month.
+10 for passing the test on the first phase of my job training.
+5 for apparently impressing the hell out of my Area Supervisor.
-2 for STILL not having gotten mah hat back from Merch.
-5 for so-called friends who jump to judgments before knowing the truth.
+5 for St. Patrick's Day.
+2 for finding a beautiful historic house I want to restore.
+3 for it being REALLY cheap.
-3 for having NO idea where I'm going to find the funding to do said restoration.

Total: 339


+3 - Dart Box Cap is in the next town over and will be delivered the next business day (Monday).
+5 - Having 2 shifts left in my job training.
-2 - Testing anxiety over my upcoming final exam (the passing of which determines whether I will have a job at the end of the day).
-2 - Having to leave my awesome crew that have spoiled me rotten the last two months by excelling at their jobs.

Current total: 343

Still ahead.

Community Pimpage

=Manipulators has re-opened! Check out the whole story.